I am upset because I see something that is not there.
To “linger” means to stay in a particular state for a while, most often longer than necessary. The rock group, The Cranberries, sang of just this word in the 90’s hit, Linger. The edgy sound of the guitar at the beginning, setting in the melody, then the soft hum of Irish vocalist Delores O’Riordan mixed with stringed instruments, and then the drums laying out the carpet for a heart’s unquenched journey.
I once heard a live version of this song years later where O’Riordan explains that when this song was released she was in a place in her life when she was trying to find herself. And that she, often, still finds herself in the same state today. Lingering in seeking for oneself, maybe? I’m sure this resonates with most beings on the Earth today as we search for our purpose and place in the world. It can be easy to linger in this state of seeking. It is also just as easy to be mistakenly searching for another when what I am really wanting is that communion with my True Self. Oops, wrong person, my bad.
Most would agree that in this song, The Cranberries were singing about a difficult love that just wouldn’t get with the program. Blinded by love, the speaker of the lyrics lingers wrapped around her lover’s finger hoping that it will all turn out in the ended: deliriously happy in love. Basically, the lover wants to know, “why do you have to keep me wanting so…?” A song and sentiment that is perfect for illustrating today’s lesson.
“I am sad because I see something that is not there.”
In this particular song, the “lingerer” is wrenched because in her mind she sees a relationship with the “lingeree” but it just doesn’t seem to be there. It is easy to see how one can get angry, sad, depressed, hurt, worried, fearful when our vision of life does not correspond with what seems to be happening, especially in what the Course calls, Special Relationships. There is a feeling of being threatened that arrises and often a sense of wanting to control the situation so we can get our vision and our experience to match up. Then everything would all be perfect and this God-awful feeling, known as suffering, would get out of our body.
We use this example of unrequited love but many other situations can be applied to today’s lesson. A promotion doesn’t come through. I’m not where I thought I would be in life so what do I do now? I am angry because someone was taken from life too soon.
Today we attempt to correct our vision and see more clearly. To do so, we are asked to linger. Linger in the “something that is not there.” Linger in the space where the vision in our head does not match what the eye sees or what the heart feels.
This can feel dauntingly awkward but there is true beauty awaiting the courageous one who journeys into this state. It is just another way of saying, “just observe.” Linger in seeing how things unfold. Watch how what we thought should happen, end up turning out better than we could have ever imagined. Linger and watch the magic of the Holy Spirit. Watch how your inner world and outer world change. And be aware of which comes first. Watch as Who you are truly seeking emerges, You.
Today, recognize your perception of upset and stand bold in the state of what is not there. No longer turning to the lyrics of a seeking lover wondering why something can’t be, but standing in what IS. Observe the ego, a perspective from which the song Linger can be sung, and let go of the need to chase your smallness. As the quote says “fight for your limitations and you will surely get them.” Smallness is not fighting for you, you are fighting for it. Notice who is the defender of what is not there.
Until then, enjoy The Cranberries song Linger and listen to the words from a different perspective. If you were singing this to your ego, how does it make you feel? Are you ready to give up that smallness yet?
Lingering in Love…