I am upset because I see a meaningless world.
As we head down this yellow brick road, we find that each lesson of the Course holds so much power and wisdom. Lesson 12 is no exception, except potentially is one that is the keeper of many keys to unlocking the chains that binds us. This lesson enables us to be brutally honest with how we see the world around us. We are graced in each practice period to be as a child who has not yet learned the filters of one’s mouth, thus blatantly stating what truly pisses us of and upsets us about the world. We can also do the opposite and say with unbridled joy, with no fear of jealousy or being a braggart, how blessed and great we feel about this world. Today invites pure honesty. And the only way to be honest, is to be honest.
Truly that is the key to liberation, honesty; honesty with one’s self. Unfiltered, no holding back, pure flowing honesty. Letting go of trying to picture what a good steward of the world should think or do, or what an enlightened being would do, or what the son/daughter of so and so should do, or what society tells you is right or wrong, or even what a Child of God would do. This is about uncovering the layers we put up that create separation between us and our Creator. To say that there are no layers or to pretend that we are perfect shepherds of peace would be to add to the obscuring of our view that is already obscure enough. This is about standing naked in Truth and watching how the Truth rises to meet us.
Today we throw a child’s tantrum, releasing from that spot where we stuff and stuff things down until there is a melting point and boil over like lava, realizing for ourselves the foolishness in getting upset over a meaningless world. I seem to mention only the negative here but this also goes for the positive.
In New Zealand, the term is Tall Poppy Syndrome. It is well-known that Kiwi’s do not like to stand out above their comrades. They do not want to outshine or be better than or boast in fear of being a Tall Poppy. This tends to sound very noble and humble. But is it? Or are we just being afraid of our own light when we do this?
Marianne Williamson, who has written about A Course in Miracles, states in her book A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles in A Course in Miracles,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
New Zealand might be on to something. Do we all have a touch of the Tall Poppy Syndrome? This is just food for thought as we journey in our practice periods and bounce between the “good” and “bad” that we think we see in a meaningless world. Let me add here as well, when the term “meaningless” comes up, it could also be stated as “blank.” As we have reviewed thus far in the Course,
“This is another way of repeating our earlier statement that your mind is really blank. To recognize this is to recognize the nothingness when you think you see it. As such, it is a prerequisite for vision (ACIM Lesson 10 3:3-5).”
Blank, blank. Our mind is blank. Our world is blank. Yet we seem to still be upset over it. This is where today’s practice brings correction.
“Why, then, should a meaningless world upset you (ACIM Less 12 5:2)?”
Spiritual speaker, Matt Kahn, mentioned that someone once asked him, “How come you feel good all the time?” He replied, “Because it doesn’t mean anything to me. When I feel good, there is no sense of me saying here is what that means. It doesn’t mean anything if I feel good. If I didn’t feel good, do you know what that would mean? Nothing also. Feeling good or feeling bad, neither which, makes the nightly news in my consciousness. It means absolutely nothing. And not out of renunciation or denial, it just doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t symbolize anything to me.”
Seeing the meaninglessness does bring a sense of relief and liberation. What is there to be upset over? And just that alone can cause upset. We have worked long and hard to achieve something in this world and now to look at our world with equanimity and recognizing the nothingness in it all can lead one feeling upset or even depressed. I tend to call that space Spiritual Depression. What do you do when you realize, fully, that what you thought was so important in this world is meaningless? In this nothingness is where Truth appears,
“Beneath your words is written the Word of God. The Truth upsets you now; but when your words have been erased, you will see His. That is the ultimate purpose of these exercises (ACIM Lesson 12 5:7-9).”
Yes, I have been caught red handed, I was placing my will and my control over this world thinking it was real, vital, and pressing and where has that gotten me? Whether “good” or “bad,” just more suffering, if I am honest. The freedom in Matt Kahn’s words is the freedom from thinking I am in control and that I have to fix or plan. Because really all I am trying to do is make the image I see fit what I am thinking with all of my labels, wishes, and desires. This even means my desire to be small in the world.
But After the shock of feeling upset and futile about a meaningless world, there is a rush of relief. There is a Hand that holds me, protects me, and that is always guiding me for the highest good of All. And in that space of nothingness, I wait on His words that are sure to come.