I will there be light.
I went for a walk this morning because my head felt full. I was just going to walk around the block to clear things out. As I was in motion, so were scenarios in my head. I was running through “what if’s, outcomes, circumstances, conversations to be had if certain things happened, what I would do if…” My walking route didn’t need much attention as it was on a sidewalk with all right turns to lead me back to my house. Thus, my full attention could be given to the stories in my head. That was… until I made my last final right turn leading me up the street to my house.
A silver car slowed down to my left. It had a bike on the back and you could tell the man inside had a friendly face and most likely lived a very active lifestyle with all the gear he had in his backseat. I understood where he had been and where he was going as my car has looked very similar on occasion with such a beautiful day like today.
As he rolled down his window and I was certain he was going to ask me for directions. It is that time of year when there are many tourists around and it is a common occurrence to be asked for restaurant suggestions, hiking recommendations, directions to places, etc. I just knew he was going to ask me about biking trails. But he did not.
This kind man leaned over to passenger side and said, “are you okay?” I was really startled as that was not the question I was expecting. Thus, I didn’t fully hear him because in my perception I was listening for other syllables and sounds that went along with asking for directions. I politely said “I didn’t hear you, what did you say?” He must have noticed my surprise and wanted to assure me that he meant no harm and said “please excuse me, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” Again, I was surprised, what would lead this person to believe that I was not okay?
I thanked him for his kindness and said, “I’m just fine and just taking a small walk.” He nodded his head, rolled up his window, and drove up the street, no doubt to his biking trail…here I go with my assumptions again. Now, nothing about this gentleman was alarming or creepy. He was very sincere, polite, not threatening whatsoever, and truly acting out of kindness. I was also in a populated place so I knew I was in no harm or in a dangerous situation. I say this so that you, as the reader, can put your mind at ease to focus with me on the bigger picture.
As he drove away, I felt immediately he was a Divine Messenger. He was my teacher for that one moment. I realized how I had been so dazed on my walk. I didn’t even fully remember it. I was on autopilot. With my dazed face, my brow furrowed from thought, and with my eyes squinting from the sun, I’m sure I looked upset. I know this because the scenarios playing in my head were upsetting. We like to think that no one hears our thoughts, thank God. But that is not the case. Our thoughts are pulsating energies and are written all over our energy field, which encase the body. For those of you who are vibrationally sensitive, you know that how you feel is written all over your body for others to see and you also know the same about those you come in contact with me.
The quote “No man is an island” by John Donne comes to mind. The man in the car reminded me that I was, in fact, no island. That I was not alone in witnessing my hellish thoughts. Whether he was aware of this or not, my thoughts were in fact affecting him by signaling him to stop and make sure I was alright. But he was truly a Divine Messenger as he got me to remember. He got me to stop and become aware of how I had been walking and what I had been thinking about. And when he asked, “Are you alright?” and when my replay was “yes, I am just fine,” he got me to reflect on the sincerity of my response.
I paused on the sidewalk and thought, “Of course I’m alright. I am a Child of God. All the scenarios in my head are not who I Am. The sadness I was feeling while thinking of various outcomes, are not my True State of Being.” Thus, this stranger ignited a miracle, my shift to remember that I was the Light of the World.
“Your picture of the world can only mirror what is within. The source of neither light nor darkness can be found without. Grievances darken your mind, and you look out on a darkened world. Forgiveness lifts the darkness, reasserts your will, and lets you look upon a world of light (ACIM Lesson 73 5:1-4).
Such is the case for our lesson today, do we want to stay in hell or remember that our will is the same as the Will of God’s, which ensures our happiness? Our will is one because the root intention is the same, to know who we truly are. The man today was my reminder that I was choosing the ego’s game rather than my truest desire, to be One with God.
“Above all else, you want the freedom to remember who you really are” (ACIM Lesson 73 7:5).
On my walk today, I was caught up in the ego’s ping-pong game tossing me back and forth between guilt and guilty. Between hell and more hell. I was so enthralled with its game that all I saw was darkness on this sunny day. It was as if I was watching a game of ping-pong, with my eyes, like thoughts, going back and forth, and someone said, “I thought you were hungry for popcorn when we got here. Don’t you want to go get some?” As I fell asleep to my hunger for popcorn in this scenario, I fell asleep to my hunger for Oneness this morning.
Today we are reminded of our life long desire to be One with the Will of God. In order for us to truly remember, I feel as though our desire needs to be fully experienced like the feeling we get when we urgently have to go to the bathroom. When you have to go to the bathroom, you have to go. There is no doubt. There is no lingering. You just go. You move all means possible and you get your desired wish, to pee. Today we remember that our desire for oneness is that strong. It is that urgent. It cannot wait on another one of the ego’s mind baffling, back and forth, ping-pong games.
“His will is now restored to his awareness. He is willing this very day to look upon the light in him and be saved” (ACIM Lesson 73 9:5-6)”
On my walk today, the ego felt so powerful, as sometimes it does on this journey. Sometimes it does feel so insurmountable and like there are no other options than the hell that is in my head. Sometimes it does feel like there is no way out. But there is. There is actually only one exit and it only waits upon your notice.
“Today it is the ego that stands powerless before your will. Your will is free, and nothing can prevail against it” (ACIM Lesson 73 7:6-7).
I know I do not walk this walk alone. I know that we can all share in something similar with my example today: a time when we were taken away with the ego’s compelling game, to have luckily been sent a Divine Messenger in a mysterious way and form to remind us of what we truly desire and who we truly are. Thus, I think of today as a deepening of our commitment to know God. An assertion that we do desire to reclaim our power from ego and align our will to the Will of God. That is our salvation.
I leave you today with the words from the poem, “No man is an island” by John Donne. I am honored to be walking with you on this journey of remembrance. Thank you for the ways in which you remind all of us that we are Children of God. Thank you for being “part of the main.” Because of your presence, the world is that much brighter.
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.