I will receive whatever I request.
“Father, this is Your day. It is a day in which I would do nothing by myself, but hear Your Voice in everything I do; requesting only what You offer me, accepting only Thoughts You share with me” (ACIM Lesson 339 2:1-2).
Today is a powerful teaching that asks us to take ownership of what we truly desire. We must come to understand that we receive exactly what we want, as we are the creators of our perception. Thus, we step to the doorway of our minds and ask the question, “What do I receive from any sort suffering?”
Indeed, do not be fooled, we do get something out of the insanity of suffering. Like a drug addict is addicted to his or her drug of choice, we too get a hit of “something” from our personal flavor of fear and after lifetimes of insane choices we come to find that we have become accustomed to a certain level of comfort in our discomfort; realizing suffering came sometimes feel like a safety blanket and our Light, an overwhelming, uncomfortable, vulnerable exposure to the unknown. Yet it is in this vulnerability where our real safety lies (ACIM Lesson 153, In My Defenselessness My Safety Lies).
No one wants to be a victim but there is something in that role of victimhood that feeds the ego. Perhaps it is attention or perhaps it is the feeling one gets from playing small, just to name a couple potential reasons, as there are many, many more. But it is important that we take the time, on a day like today, to fully explore the rational in our individual attachments to suffering, as there is power in naming what it is we receive from our shadows, and thus, in doing so, we bring it to the Light.
It is important to state, in conjunction with today’s lesson that the Course is not saying that one is deserving of misfortunes and is in fault of asking for them. Not at all. However that could potentially be how the ego would like to understand Lesson 338. Yet, we take the high road of the Mind and know that today offers us another opportunity to reconcile those small areas where we are still choosing insanity over sanity. In our walk together we have learned that in order for our sanity to take full reign we must pull out the weeds of our misguided thoughts at the root level. By doing so, we attend to a garden we truly desire for ourselves, looking at the garden of the mind and ensuring that all flowers blooming are in alignment with love, peace, and joy. If we notice a flower out-of-place, we lovingly ask ourselves, “What am I getting out of this particular flower, this particular perception?”
“Let us resolve today to ask for what we really want, and only this, that we may spend this day in fearlessness, without confusing pain with joy, or fear with love” (ACIM Lesson 339 1:9).
With compassion, be honest with yourself about what you really want. If you truly want God and to abide in your God(dess) Nature, deeply look at the moments where suffering and fear are still feeding you in some way. Come to find those areas where you can trust more in your Nature and where you can let go of a “drug” that no longer serves you. Realize those areas where fear has felt safe because to claim your Light would be too overwhelming. However, now begin to trust more in that vulnerability and know you are worthy and deserving of Light. Let go of the suffering, smallness, shadows, and fear. You gain nothing in suffering but more suffering. Yet, you gain everything when you trust in the Love that you are. What is it you truly want more of? Namaste.